Do I want to believe?

“The butthole surfers of outer space. Probing a trailer park near you.”

So, do you think all the hubbub about aliens is real? All the conspiracies and shadow government sneak-queefs true? Crop circles, ancient historical theories on impossible commonalities, flying saucers, lizard people, naked grey balloon headed bipeds that steal you in your sleep and return you to your bed with your pajama pants turned inside out.

Meh.

You know, if the whole point of all the cover-ups, leaked secrets, and declassified operations throughout the 7+ decades was on purpose. The people behind the information gravy train have done a good job on desensitizing the populous. Well, to a certain extent. It’s certainly blossomed some very colorful and dramatic individuals along the way.

Have you seen the human race? Better yet. Have you seen the crap we have done in the last 3 decades alone?

What could aliens possibly think of us (if they are really out there. Or living here with us)?

I wouldn’t even begin to comprehend how they would think, or even if they are individual/free-thinking life forms. What gets me is, if we as humans (the way we are now) were in their shoes, what sort of crap would we do if we found an evolved humanoid type species of life form on some other far distant planet?

Would we go the route of Star Trek and not interfere? HA! Probably not in the long run. The people “paying for the journey” would probably end up colonizing the least populated area and set up shop. We might even go the route of mining and stripping the planet of resources. That is of course if the whole thing wasn’t televised. If it was televised to the population of earth, it would be first contact rainbows and peace jamboree time.

This also got me thinking about how things might be going here on earth. If the conspiracy theories on governments working with aliens would even work. Why would an advanced species contact humans on this planet and not make sure everyone knew? Basic observation of our societies over the last 70 years would be proof enough that picking a side would only cause more intense destruction. Let alone multiple sides. They would have seen how we take, mutate, and evolve technology. How we constantly try to one up each other and punch down on the less informed. To the point of war and dominance. Do they even know how viruses work? What were they thinking?

Would you want to be involved in that sort of bull$#!+ going on somewhere else in space? Especially since the whole safety protocol in exploration is to not die while exploring.

Which brings up another thought. Why would we bother sending humans out to explore if we could send robots? And I do mean the real definition of robot too. Remote controlled star fleet officers. Now that would make way more sense and free up a lot of morality conflicts. Makes you wonder doesn’t it. What if all the aliens we have supposedly witnessed in the sky and in all the grainy videos, are actually some form of remote controlled biological machines. Android space monkeys wielding advanced technology and primitive butt-plug medical practices.

To me it just doesn’t fit. All of it. You’ve seen the ufo photos. They get more streamlined as the decades progress. As if their aerodynamic technology is changing with our understanding of aerodynamics. Here is another nugget. These beings travel light years in space, or inter dimensionally to our planet and can’t figure out how to not crash one of their George Jetson space crafts? Do weather patterns and gravimetric pressure confuse them? Another thing, why even bother performing “lab experiments” on so many humans? They are supposed to be advanced right? It’s not that far of a stretch to figure out how humans work. Our atmosphere alone dictates how we have survived on the surface. You would think just one human Ginny pig would be enough. Let alone taking soil and water samples. But hundreds of humans and cattle over the span of decades?

Whatever the truth is. It wouldn’t surprise me if even a quarter of the conspiracies going around out there were proven to be true. It’s not like knowing we are not alone will change anything that drastically. Right? Well, at the very least, the merchandising market would go ape$#!+.

Wouldn’t it be kinda cool if it turned out like Kenneth Johnson’s portrayal of aliens? Understanding, giving, highly intelligent, creatively philosophical, and compassionate lizard people wearing skin suits to blend in so as to not freak us out. We wouldn’t have to pay for Netflix anymore. It would be a utopia of clean energy, abundant food crops, advanced technology, and only occasional human buffet culling.

Lizards gotta eat too. Win win.