Keeping Your Personal $#!+ In Check
First off, from my experience alone (not that a few close others would agree with me), short fuses run in the family blood line. That kind of anger that is constant. Like bone-deep untethered wrath. Watching my grandfather run around with a baseball bat, chasing my uncle for sass talking, is just an example. I am choosing to blab about this because I had just accidentally let my inner rage leak through a few hours ago. It happens sometimes. Usually when I am very busy/distracted and something unknown just flips a switch. I didn’t blow up or anything. I just caught myself before I started to physically shake in heated fury. But it really got me to contemplate in a musing way shortly after.
Second, I am fully aware of anyone that is dealing with stress, that sometimes tend to lash out in anger. Sort of like the mental equivalent of, ‘the last straw’. I am not nessesarily talking about this common circumstance (even though it can be a good part of it). Not even really about anger management. Where some people are just naturally prone to be angry and/or aggressive for a reason (be it mundane or justified).
What I am talking about is more of a “chemical” medial condition. Like madness, but focusing on ‘a blank canvas anger’. So apart of one’s self, that the person does not even know where it is coming from. The person could be at complete peace and calm. Then out of nowhere, it consumes everything. Even if no one else is around and the person isn’t even doing anything. Just sitting in a haze of rest.
Sounds kinda scary doesn’t it?
I would also like to point out that for some people that suffer this kind of condition, it isn’t violent in any way. The whole violence thing comes into play when the person chooses to act and/or use it as a way to vent it out. Like, seeing one’s relative run around the yard swinging a baseball bat. When you grow up with this kind of anger, it is extremely important that you are taught the many ways on controlling it, constantly. After a decade or more it becomes, in a manner of speaking, a physical tic/glitch; that you can easily shut off. Like getting a momentary body shiver. Or fluttering your eyes for a couple seconds. Well, most of the time it is like this. There are those rare moments when one misses what is happening and your whole body begins to vibrate. Your heart starts to beat fast, your adrenaline kicks into overdrive, you start to sweat, and it feels like jets of white hot fire are exploding from every inch of your skin. Even from the naughty bits. It makes you want to scream until your voice goes raw.
After this point, all you can do is go run it off in a sprint. Or do some wacky extreme calisthenics. Just to burn off all the wrathful energy. There isn’t really any train of thought that follows it if you are aware of what is happening. It’s not so much a feeling of panic (for some anyway). But more along the lines of feeling the destruction of all reality happen all around you.
Sometimes this specific condition is diagnosed as I.E.D., O.D.D., D.M.D.D., or my personal favorite, B.P.D.. Even though I.E.D. is a serious condition, I do wonder what the hell the scientist that came up with that acronym was thinking. IED?! Really? “Improvised explosive device” was coined in the 70’s during when the IRA was active and used a mixture of $£M+£x and fertilizer. The mental condition was only codified with the same acronym in 2021, ‘Involuntary Explosive Disorder’. Before that, it was known as a “passive-aggressive personality type”…
Whoever the person that came up with that is… well, there’re an @$$#0€.
It can also be diagnosed as pheochromocytoma. Which is even more serious if it is not a misdiagnosis. Otherwise it is a bit expensive to prove if you don’t have that particular tumor.
Some people are just born angry. It doesn’t mean those people can’t live happy.
One final tidbit that I found out. Unleashing this kind of HULK-SMASH ‘paroxysm event’ in a controlled environment, like a Rage-Room; is such a blissful experience. After it ends of course. The mental high and exhaustion are better than drugs. It does make me crave Twinkies though.
