S, P, F, C, CS, MF, T, …Fart, Turd, & T
When I first witnessed George Carlin’s Stand-Up performance at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium on TV. I was hooked on the wonders of cursing. I had already been a huge fan of Carlin already. My grandfather had bootlegs of a few of his standup shows. He got in trouble with my grandma not long after for letting me listen to all of his audio tape recordings. Thank you Supreme Court, for your verdict!
Of course the ‘mother grand-pooba’ of all swear words was what fascinated me the most. I had heard everyone in my family use it one time or another. Though it wasn’t the fact that they used this word when they were excited or pissed off that drew my fascination. It was the fact that if I said it, I got the belt. None of the other words had this harsh of a punishment for me, aside from ‘M.F.’. Yes, I’m talking about the “F-Word”.
George stated that the original meaning was to hit, or to strike. So, I thought I could get away with saying the word if I could be doing something that I was in the process of hitting. Like the drums for example. You see, my grandfather was a very good jazz drummer as well as my uncle. So when I told my Grandma that I was going to go out into the garage and ‘F’ on the drums. She was not happy. Despite what I told her about its original meaning. That was the only time I didn’t get a beating for saying it since everyone thought it was kinda funny. Well, after my grandma told my grandfather. She never found it funny. Even when I pointed out that she cursed all the time in Italian. Her excuse was that Italian was ok but not English. So, you probably can guess what I got away with after that gem of information.
Fanculo drums! She heard me repeatedly yelling it from the garage daily. But this was just the beginning. When I was old enough I was allowed to say ass. Just not in public. I was saying it for everything. “Grandma? Can I get an Ass of chocolate milk?” It did get old by the end of the day. Yes, I was saying Culo as well. I actually got her to laugh once when I started mixing the swear words I was allowed to say; all over the house. My uncle thought I was nuts. “Culo, bitch-dog, fanny-ass, damn-it, booby-tits.” “I got a pretty little titty on my ruby-tooty-booby. Ass-head boogie-bootie-bitch.” Stuff like that.
Anyway, I may not have to tell you that the “F” word is incredibly versatile. Having the obvious derivatives and compounds; it is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and an interjection. It’s like a mirepoix of the English language! But alas, we don’t know its true origin or root meaning (if another one existed).
Do you think the Sumerians had a similar word?
