Who’s Asking First?
What Is Who’s Asking First?
It’s a duel of pure inquiry. Two players enter an escalating exchange where only questions may be spoken. There are no answers, no statements, no explanations—just questions. Fired, deflected, twisted, and volleyed until someone blinks, hesitates, or commits the ultimate crime: saying something certain.
This is not small talk. This is verbal chess with a broken clock and a flaming bishop. You win by asking smart. You lose by making sense.
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Objective
To outlast your opponent in a rally of questions—without making a statement, breaking rhythm, or repeating yourself. The first player to flinch, falter, or fall into certainty loses the round.
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Setup
1. Players
Two required. One to question, one to panic.
2. Starting the Game
Flip a coin, glare meaningfully, or simply declare:
“Who’s asking first?”
(Whoever flinches starts.)
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The Rules (Which Are Also Questions, Philosophically Speaking)
1. Questions Only
Every sentence must be a grammatically valid, standalone question. If it even sounds like a statement with a rising inflection, you’re done.
2. No Repetition
Don’t repeat your opponent’s question. Don’t repeat your own. Don’t repeat yourself. Don’t repeat yourself.
3. Stay on Thread (Barely)
Your question must follow the general idea of the exchange. Non-sequitur questions that derail the rhythm can be challenged. Unless they’re brilliantly absurd—then you might win style points.
4. No Answers Disguised as Questions
Examples of violations:
• “Isn’t it obvious?”
• “What else would you expect me to say?”
• “You seriously think that?”
These are answers in trench coats. Not allowed.
5. Timing Matters
Each player has 3 seconds to respond. Pause too long, and you’re out. Thinking is dangerous.
6. No Filler, No Fluff
Stammering, hedging, or panicking is not a question. “Uhhh… what do you mean?” is weak sauce. You’re better than that. Or maybe you’re not. Find out.
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How to Win
You win the round if your opponent:
• Speaks a statement
• Fails to reply in 3 seconds
• Repeats a question
• Uses an invalid or rhetorical question
• Collapses under the existential weight of the moment
First to 3 points wins the match.
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Sample Round
Player A: “What makes you think you’re ready for this?”
Player B: “Are you implying I’m not?”
Player A: “Would you like me to clarify?”
Player B: “Would you survive clarification?”
Player A: [hesitates]
→ Point to Player B
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Optional Modes of Madness
Theme Mode
Every question must revolve around a chosen theme: Time, Death, Sandwiches, Artificial Intelligence, etc.
Mirror Match
Each player must rephrase the opponent’s last question into a new one without using any of the same words.
The Oracle’s Curse
A third player—The Oracle—interrupts with random phrases like “EXPLAIN THAT!” or “REPHRASE!” If you comply, you lose. If you resist, you risk enlightenment.
Sudden Death Spiral
Each new round requires questions to be shorter than the previous round. Last player not reduced to monosyllabic nonsense wins.
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Strategic Tips
• Ask questions that corner your opponent logically or emotionally.
• Feint sincerity. Bait them into slipping with an easy setup.
• Don’t ask what they mean—make them mean less.
• Embrace absurdity. Sense is a trap.
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Final Word
Who’s Asking First? isn’t a game.
It’s a ritual.
A symphony of doubt.
A courtroom without a judge.
A sword fight where every blade is a question mark.
So?
Who’s asking first?
Invented by:
Keaffa Moon & Danu Marche
Boner And Biscuits LLC, copyright 1993
